


Her reaction

by NeekaMagdalene



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 22:50:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10397931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeekaMagdalene/pseuds/NeekaMagdalene
Summary: Natsu kneeled on the ground, sweat dripping from his forehead, his chest heaving wildly. In front of him lied what once was a fierce warrior. Now it was a bloody bunch, its face maimed beyond recognition. Just a sack of charred meat and bones.He lost it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy and if you like - leave feedback. Thanks!

Natsu kneeled on the ground, sweat dripping from his forehead, his chest heaving wildly. In front of him lied what once was a fierce warrior. Now it was a bloody bunch, its face maimed beyond recognition. Just a sack of charred meat and bones.  

He lost it.

His emotions took over once again, and this time there was no stopping him. No Lucy to hold him back with hugs and kind words, no Master to slap him down.

He wasn´t sure he wanted them to be there. To see what he has become.

It wasn´t the first time he took life, true. Even though he loathed it, sometimes it was impossible to avoid. But this time... This time it was different. Nobody was in danger. Nobody needed his help to live.

Nobody needed to die.

He knew what was happening. To him, to his body, to his mind. To his sanity.

He knew.

And yet... He hasn´t tried to fight it. All the time he battled. To compose himself, to bottle it in. This time, he let it flow. All the feelings pouring inside his body, clouding his brain.   

Grief.

Anger.

Hatred.

Pain.

Rage.

They all became the fuel for his fire. They all burned. And like a phoenix rising from its own ashes, a new desire was formed.

Revenge.

It flared the flame higher and higher still, until it reached every fibre, every drop of his blood.

_Burn. Burn everything._

His body accepted the commands. Why should he resist? Why should he care? His hands were set ablaze just like his soul has been.

But fire is a hungry element. No flame burns forever. Once the fuel is gone, it cannot live, vanishing as fast as it appeared.

Leaving pain and destruction in its wake.

Natsu's flame was enormous. It destroyed everything standing in his way, in the path towards his goal. It granted his wishes, making him invincible. However, to gain what he wanted, he had to sacrifice what he had. He was strong, but in a ruthless, cruel way. There was no family anymore. No partners, no friends. There was only him and his prey. Anyone stepping up had to be disposed of. To resist meant to die.

_Kill them. Burn them all._  

But just like any other fire, it eventually burned out.

And guilt stepped up to take its place.

_...What have I done?..._

Only then did he wake from his haze. Only then he realized.

_...What have I done?!..._

He could have hurt them. He could have hurt his family, his dear nakama...and he would have done it without a moment of hesitation or remorse. Everyone who loved him. Everyone who stood by him even when the times were harsh, who would put they own life for his when the need arose.

_...I would have burned them all down..._

How? How could he allow himself to loose control like that? To drop his grip on his emotions and behave like an animal? He swore he would never become like that. He swore they would never have to fear him. Was his word worth nothing? When has his blood become so thin?   

_...What if I really did hurt them?..._

No. He refused to think about it. He was the one to protect his nakama. To shield them from every danger, to step up and take the blow. That was the guy he was.

That was his job.

And he poured all he had into it, never counting the loss. Their smile was all he needed, it was the ultimate payment he wished to receive. He would sacrifice everything, he would do anything, just to see it once more. Their happiness...Her happiness.

A disturbing thought crawled into his mind.

_...Lucy..._

His head filled with images of her. Her smile, always shining, even when her eyes were swimming with tears. Her hands, petting his hair every time they travelled together, soothing his sickness into sleep. Her heart, so big and forgiving, welcoming even those who were undeserving. Her eyes, soft and sweet, finding every bruise and ache, no matter how much he tried to hide them. She could see goodness and beauty in everyone... Even and mainly in those, who could not see it in themselves.

_...What if I hurt HER?!..._

His eyes closed. He willed the tears to go away. No matter what he did, no matter how savage he was before. There was one thing he knew for sure: if he indeed hurt his partner, he would never forgive himself.

Never.

Quiet steps brought him back from his mind. He knew whose steps they were. Full dragon or not, he always knew.

She was alive. It was dark and his senses were dulled, but there was no blood. He couldn´t sense any pain either. She was not hurt... Physically. 

The moment of joy was swiftly gone. Soft gasp. And then.... nothing more.

Silence.

He waited for her reaction, both impatient and frightened of it.

Now she knew. She knew what he was. Would she condemn him? If she was scared, if she hated him now... He would understand. It would break his heart to let her go, but he would do it. He deserved the pain. He deserved to suffer.

But there was no reaction.

Only silence.

That was it. He lost her. His head dropped in defeat.

But suddenly there was warmth. Warmth of the likes he has never felt before. It erased all the doubts, all the fear from his mind. It assured him, that even when he messed up, even when he did horrid things, he was never left alone. There was always hope. Her hope. She was there for him. No matter what happened, no matter how big he screwed up. She was there to pick the pieces and stick him back together. There was no way she would leave him.

That was her reaction.

And he cried, and she cried with him.    


End file.
